Skip to main content

Ghost Child's Last Day

I knew this moment would come as her last day with public schools approached.  Bitterness is the root and working hard to not let cynicism become even more prevalent in my heart concerning this issue.  This kind of negativity will  misguide a better path and loose sight of the real fight. Ghost child did have a sweet send off and lots of sweet notes from her friends and teacher in her agenda. She got hugs and good byes.  My daughter is no longer anxious about the transition; instead, she is excited about her possibilities.  She has input in her education. Aside from core subjects that she will be responsible for and taught to regulate herself with accommodations long needed, ghost child is going to learn to cook and take art classes at a local art studio.  It's her decision and commitment to her interest and skills.  I am estatic for her.

But the anger seethes.  

Pulling her out of school and saying good bye was way too easy.  It was more of a battle to for testing and a loosing battle for accommodations in a medically recognized disorder.  I want to scream, let the profanity fly, and just start a sit in at the district office.  Unfortunately, this does nothing for her and will only lead to my arrest.  We will be the only ones who hurt.  I have contacted our state government.  The battle continues after my sisters wedding with the department of education and more contact on the state level.  This is why I named her the ghost child; to the school system she is nothing but a specter. A silhouette of an almost person.  It's shameful. Painful.  Endlessly frustrating.

To us she is a real and vibrant human being.  She needs some extra understanding, training, and adjustments.  But our ghost child is whole and wonderful with her unique set of talents and gifts.  This is what we teach her and how she will present herself to the world. Whole.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Ghost Child

It’s been so cozy in our glittery wonderland of bubbles and glitzy paper; however, the holiday tilt a whirl has abruptly told us to get the hell off.  The ton of brick of sorrow and fury hit full force today.  It’s not a new or sudden burden, but a reality being acknowledged and denied all the same.  For years, I’ve been told “she’s okay,” “there’s nothing wrong,” “we don’t see anything.” My daughter is the ghost child.   You see the specter but right through her because you don’t see.                 While my daughter is “okay” she’s not “okay.”  This morning’s event has continued months of agonizing, acceptance, determination, reflection, and writing.  In reflection, I keep going back to her preschool years when I literally thought I was going to lose my mind. Literally everyone indicated that there wasn’t anything wrong.  It kept nagging as we stumbled through docto...

Health Foodie Getting Her Hair Back

A few years ago after giving birth to my son, I had some life altering changes.  I had two kids and not just one.  Back issues. A dramatic gall bladder removal.  Less hair.  Did I mention more kids?   The hair changes started before having my son, but it was crazy hair loss after his arrival. He was worth it.  I could take the high road and tell you hair doesn't matter. That I realized my inner beauty counted most (it does, but lets be realistic).  We could be petty and mourn over the loss.  It's vain and there are a lot more things in my life to be grateful for.   Let's do both.  Take the high road and cry about it.  Now that's done.  It's not going down without a fight.  Two years ago I made changes to my diet and noticed stronger hair.  It even started curling again.  Then I dove into holistic hair solutions- from DIY hair products to supplements to "what am I eating?" that works.  I also ...