Dance of the Ghost Child and Red Reign of Terror in the Wild

Last night it hit me with full force how these past two weeks have been a long needed victory laps for ghost child.   Normalcy doesn't really exist when a significant amount of your time is spent on a child with special needs, especially in testing or diagnosis.  If you are aware of  your concerns, knowledge of the process, and aggressive in diagnosis, it takes about a year.  Us, eight months of concentrated pushing. Years of voicing concern.  We have arrived to healing. Now therapy with therapy homework.  It can be all consuming and finding balance in a new normal is imperative.

 Pulling ghost child home was the best decision.  I feel a lot less pressure in her care with flexibility and non compete with the school system on her needs.  We are integrating her speech goals as opposed to shoving them in at the end of the day and trudging through them on weekends.  I am watching her self regulate her modifications, gaining confidence, and taking charge of her learning.  Not just education.  She is reading voluntarily with enjoyment.  Memorization has been a nightmare.  She has committed on her own to learn two verses for Awana.  She wants to know what her units are, have input on her the "extras," and knowing her speech goals.   I know it can only last so long on this hill.  However, when we dip again, remembering that the upswing follows will be easier.  We can breathe.  The biggest moment of exhale came when family members remarked on her changed behavior (for the better). She isn't on constant over stimulation since I don't know when.  She hugs more, recovers more, pushes herself more.  I was truly worried about her being able to handle being flower girl. Not because she wouldn't want to be.  Rather trying to process it all plus the struggle of language being too much.  Ghost child had her victory.  She was excellent with her special flair. Ghost child celebrated and danced with a joyous gusto that we have only had peeks of until now.  It was contagious. I feel full the impact of what  it takes to run our large family daily.  I never fully took stock of how much extra it took to manage her disorder until it wasn't much of an issue. No more holding my breath. Exhale.

Another exhale came after speech therapy this week when we conversed on the major steps ghost child has take in her goals and moving on to the next ones. We are making progress. Finally.  Therapy isn't just a place we show up too.  We ask and are given an abundance to do at home.  Her SLP is phenomenal.  We are grateful.  In our second celebration, we threw in a field trip with red reign of terror in one of the nature preserves near us.  Ghost child took on a full lesson on map reading, leading, labeling,and deductive reasoning.  On the spot in the wild. Red reign of terror is full on energetic, three year old boy who need to be let loose in the wild. Time and learning from his sister is immeasurable. I could never find a textbook that would give the lessons those two learned in that spontaneous hour. 

  This isn't how I imagine things would go as a parent.  When we were in the trenches of testing and diagnosis, imagination takes a nightmarish turn. Especially, when it got thick of "no's" and we need to test more.   It makes it hard to breathe. That tiny ball of hope that our gut was right  was the driver to continue to find answers. We made it to the exhale.

Namaste.