Skip to main content

Improve Your Medical Relationships and Know When to End Them


This morning was a gigantic reward for us.   Ghost child's visit last fall with her ENT was disastrous.  From a dismissive and massively insensitive doctor to a nurse who told my daughter she needed to behave so she will not "end up with hearing aids and people look at her funny." You heard that right.  Oh, this ate at me for months.   This isn't the first time either, I have heard from the hallway "give her what she wants."  We never went back there either. That's toxic and that toxicity leaks out.  The infection had to be removed and the wound healed.  We sought a second opinion and it rewarded us today.  The part that rewarded us the most is the understanding that part of the problem in the fight was us in communication.  Effective communication is crucial.  It benefits your physical being directly, possibly directly your mental health.  Been there.  Being able to communicate with your doctor affects your emotinal and soul health too.  When things don't go right, a variety of negativity seeps in and can take over.  From mood to trust to hope- you ability to find success in a doctors visit for you or someone you love effects everything.  Make your visits work for you and the medical professionals who want to help you.

It's a 7 Step Kind of Thing:

1.  Write everything down- every freaking detail.  Symptoms, sleep patterns, language, bowel movements, sensations, school/home/work performance, breathes wrong, any odd thing. Write it down and share.  Let the medical professional sort it all out. 
2.  List medications and supplements.  Or take pics.  I take a lot of supplements and they might interact with other medications.  I took a picture of each one and it already has the dosage on the front. Easier on the both of us.
3.  Ask for explanations and lots of whys.  Whys like a four year old. Get an understanding of tests and results.  If your medical professional gets annoyed see below.
4. Get a folder, carry it, and get copies of everything.  EVERYTHING.  I mean, EVERyTHING.  You never know what you need, when you need, or why you need something.  Get a copy then or by mail.
5. Go with you gut.  Even if it seems crazy to whomever you are talking too.  I used to be shy about sharing my concerns and deep instincts.  It has bitten me in the ass.  Don't hold back but be respectful.  
6. If follow up is required, DO. Call back if you do not hear back within time they have specified. If they didn't specify, it's carte blanche.  Be respectful at first.  Then you can get assertive if you must. 
7.  Use reminders- paper or technology.  You have a lot going on and follow up is difficult to follow up with.  Set reminders because number six is significant. I have had major fall throughs.

So what happens when you have jerks like I shared above? Power of second opinion.  Or third even.  I have sought a third 🤚.  The extent of your power of second opinion does depend on a few things: your financial resources, insurance company guidelines, time, and mobility.  We are fortunate to have health insurance; however, it does require phone calls, member website research, and lots of detailed reading to know what our rights are.  Finances, time, and mobility spread out visits and progress may not be as fast.  Work with what you have and call who you have to in order to make it happen.  Those awful experiences that occurred are ABSOLUTELY unacceptable.  For those who share similar experiences, it's ABSOLUTELY unacceptable for you too.  Get that second opinion. Additional to that second opinion, these offices do need to know when things or they go wrong.  Our last experience fell on deaf ears in a place that serves those with ear/hearing issues.  That irony is not lost on me.  After I knew we had a second care provider, I took to their social media and review sites.  At least I can warn those who might follow us.  Your voice is your power.  You cannot control their choices, but you can guide them.  I would not recommend leaving a negative statement without communicating it directly first to the professional or leaving the practice altogether.  Have a positive note? Spread that every where.  

While some of this is in preparation and rest reactive, there are proactive steps.  Get on medical review sites, ask a trusted medical professional, and check with your insurance company when looking for a medical professional.  Ask about board certifications, malpractice suits, and read patient reviews.  Use your judgement and gut.  If you are going to use social media for recommendations, please write specifically what you want in that doctor and ask for specifics as to why a person is giving you that recommendation.  Time spent in being proactive makes second opinion less necessary. 

Don't loose hope.  We have spent years working through the hearing loss, pain, testing, language disorder, and more malfunctions.  That's just one kid! We have us and other children too.  Today was validation in our improved communication skills and following our gut.   

Most people interact with a medical professional as some point in their lives.  Please share this post.  And subscribe to notjusthealtnuts! 

Namaste and open the communication lines 




Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Health Foodie for Your Face- essentially fighting misbehaving skin

 I am in my mid thirties and until recently, breaking out like an awkward teenager.  Only more awkward because I am thirty something.  It isn't those little things either,  I have had deep cystic acne for decades.  I have literally tried everything on the market: stores or online, plus doctors poking and prescribing everything.  Don't sell me anything.  Seriously, I have tried it all, more than once. Only one prescription worked in my early twenties.  It peeled chunks off my face for months. So that looked gross.  However, I had the best skin for like two years.  Every two years I do not want to look like a molting animal.  It was expensive to boot. No win there. Then these SOB wrinkles start showing up in the midst of all the acne mess. This has to stop.  If you spend anytime with anyone in the skin care profession you get the "talk." About what you eat.  While the debate is out exactly on what that is, there are a f...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Ghost Child

It’s been so cozy in our glittery wonderland of bubbles and glitzy paper; however, the holiday tilt a whirl has abruptly told us to get the hell off.  The ton of brick of sorrow and fury hit full force today.  It’s not a new or sudden burden, but a reality being acknowledged and denied all the same.  For years, I’ve been told “she’s okay,” “there’s nothing wrong,” “we don’t see anything.” My daughter is the ghost child.   You see the specter but right through her because you don’t see.                 While my daughter is “okay” she’s not “okay.”  This morning’s event has continued months of agonizing, acceptance, determination, reflection, and writing.  In reflection, I keep going back to her preschool years when I literally thought I was going to lose my mind. Literally everyone indicated that there wasn’t anything wrong.  It kept nagging as we stumbled through docto...
Post a Comment
Read more

Health Foodie Loving More Veggies... because Bacon.

This would not be categorized as a vegetarian dish because of our bacon entanglement.  Also, I am literally eating my words on this whole "I won't eat brussel sprout thing." This collaboration of previous brussel sprout consumption dare and my ghost child's new professed love of goat cheese with bacon enhancement.  All culminating in a simple and quick delicious recipe.  Anyone has the time and skill for this. Ingredients and Prep Brussel sprouts (steamed, cut in half) Bacon (cooked, diced) Goat cheese crumbles (package opened) Olive oil- one tablespoon Steps to brussel sprouts in bacon, cheese glory 1.  Preheat oven to 425 F 2. Lightly drizzle olive oil on a sheet pan 2. Steam brussel sprouts and cut in half then spread out on pan 3. Cook bacon but barely (light brown and soft) or cheat like me and buy the pre cooked.  D 4. Dice barely cooked bacon and sprinkle over brussel sprouts. 5. Place pan in the oven for ten minutes. 6. A...
Post a Comment
Read more