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Improve Your Medical Relationships and Know When to End Them


This morning was a gigantic reward for us.   Ghost child's visit last fall with her ENT was disastrous.  From a dismissive and massively insensitive doctor to a nurse who told my daughter she needed to behave so she will not "end up with hearing aids and people look at her funny." You heard that right.  Oh, this ate at me for months.   This isn't the first time either, I have heard from the hallway "give her what she wants."  We never went back there either. That's toxic and that toxicity leaks out.  The infection had to be removed and the wound healed.  We sought a second opinion and it rewarded us today.  The part that rewarded us the most is the understanding that part of the problem in the fight was us in communication.  Effective communication is crucial.  It benefits your physical being directly, possibly directly your mental health.  Been there.  Being able to communicate with your doctor affects your emotinal and soul health too.  When things don't go right, a variety of negativity seeps in and can take over.  From mood to trust to hope- you ability to find success in a doctors visit for you or someone you love effects everything.  Make your visits work for you and the medical professionals who want to help you.

It's a 7 Step Kind of Thing:

1.  Write everything down- every freaking detail.  Symptoms, sleep patterns, language, bowel movements, sensations, school/home/work performance, breathes wrong, any odd thing. Write it down and share.  Let the medical professional sort it all out. 
2.  List medications and supplements.  Or take pics.  I take a lot of supplements and they might interact with other medications.  I took a picture of each one and it already has the dosage on the front. Easier on the both of us.
3.  Ask for explanations and lots of whys.  Whys like a four year old. Get an understanding of tests and results.  If your medical professional gets annoyed see below.
4. Get a folder, carry it, and get copies of everything.  EVERYTHING.  I mean, EVERyTHING.  You never know what you need, when you need, or why you need something.  Get a copy then or by mail.
5. Go with you gut.  Even if it seems crazy to whomever you are talking too.  I used to be shy about sharing my concerns and deep instincts.  It has bitten me in the ass.  Don't hold back but be respectful.  
6. If follow up is required, DO. Call back if you do not hear back within time they have specified. If they didn't specify, it's carte blanche.  Be respectful at first.  Then you can get assertive if you must. 
7.  Use reminders- paper or technology.  You have a lot going on and follow up is difficult to follow up with.  Set reminders because number six is significant. I have had major fall throughs.

So what happens when you have jerks like I shared above? Power of second opinion.  Or third even.  I have sought a third 🤚.  The extent of your power of second opinion does depend on a few things: your financial resources, insurance company guidelines, time, and mobility.  We are fortunate to have health insurance; however, it does require phone calls, member website research, and lots of detailed reading to know what our rights are.  Finances, time, and mobility spread out visits and progress may not be as fast.  Work with what you have and call who you have to in order to make it happen.  Those awful experiences that occurred are ABSOLUTELY unacceptable.  For those who share similar experiences, it's ABSOLUTELY unacceptable for you too.  Get that second opinion. Additional to that second opinion, these offices do need to know when things or they go wrong.  Our last experience fell on deaf ears in a place that serves those with ear/hearing issues.  That irony is not lost on me.  After I knew we had a second care provider, I took to their social media and review sites.  At least I can warn those who might follow us.  Your voice is your power.  You cannot control their choices, but you can guide them.  I would not recommend leaving a negative statement without communicating it directly first to the professional or leaving the practice altogether.  Have a positive note? Spread that every where.  

While some of this is in preparation and rest reactive, there are proactive steps.  Get on medical review sites, ask a trusted medical professional, and check with your insurance company when looking for a medical professional.  Ask about board certifications, malpractice suits, and read patient reviews.  Use your judgement and gut.  If you are going to use social media for recommendations, please write specifically what you want in that doctor and ask for specifics as to why a person is giving you that recommendation.  Time spent in being proactive makes second opinion less necessary. 

Don't loose hope.  We have spent years working through the hearing loss, pain, testing, language disorder, and more malfunctions.  That's just one kid! We have us and other children too.  Today was validation in our improved communication skills and following our gut.   

Most people interact with a medical professional as some point in their lives.  Please share this post.  And subscribe to notjusthealtnuts! 

Namaste and open the communication lines 




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